- Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, The Freezer Door
my partner hosted a wizard party and i became CLIMAXIMUS, the powerful JIZZARD.
made of cum socks, condoms and tissues, the mighty climaximus hordes all things cum
also we went off the shits on building the snackie table check it out:
my Local Neighbourhood Squirrel DEADASS just leapt onto my window pane, maybe a foot from where i am sitting and just fucking stared at me with his hands on the glass he violated my privacy and im calling the cops
he stayed like this for like a straight ten seconds
i put it on facebook and one of my best friends just fhkahjlkhaklhjgklhkljhKHKJHKFHSFKJ
the flesh is unwilling and honestly, the spirit isn't too keen on the idea either
if i were a woman, i would tweet “ginger snapped so jennifer could body”, but i’m not a woman, and i don’t use twitter, and i haven’t seen jennifer’s body, and i don’t make a lot of money or have a car or look nice
and i don’t dress well or know how to tie any knots besides the regular one you tie your shoes with. my taste in music is lacking and i need a haircut