we're all just dream meat

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
your-url-is-problematic
derinthescarletpescatarian

I don't think about Harry Potter all that much these days but sometimes I just randomly remember that these kids were writing on parchment. Like I know they have an aesthetic but WHY are these children writing their essays on ANIMAL SKINS in this day and age. It just isn't practical. At least go with old-timey paper or something.

derinthescarletpescatarian

To all the people in the notes saying they thought that parchment was old-timey paper: you didn't write five fantasy books where it is explicitly mentioned as being used extensively multiple times each book. If you had, you presumably would've looked the word up in the dictionary first. Different writing materials require different types of storage and treatment and you'd look up parchment vs. paper if you were going to replace one with the other, to make sure you didn't make any stupid worldbuilding mistakes. Same as you would with vellum, or papyrus, or wood slips, or any other writing material.

roach-works

you would be amazed and depressed to realize how confidently wrong most writers are about at least one crucially important item that made it to publication.

autisticexpression

Another thing JKR did that bothered me as someone who volunteered at a raptor centre before I read the books (I was late to the party): the casual ease with which everyone handles owls.

The thing about owls, and raptors of any kind, is that they have big fucking talons. And it doesn’t matter if they're trying to hurt you or not, these are animals with meathooks on their feet. You need special equipment to handle them without risking serious injury and infection. You at the very least want a falconer's glove, but given that owls like to perch on your forearm like it's a branch, you're better off with an eagle glove which covers your whole arm.

At no point in the Harry Potter series is falconry equipment of any kind ever mentioned. People just let owls perch on their hands or shoulders like it's nothing. There's even one particularly cringe-inducing sentence where an owl sits on Harry's lap, a glaring continuity error in light of the epilogue where he has children. I could only conclude that standard wizard clothing universally includes thick leather gloves, shoulder pads, and a jock strap. That's the only way I could get through it.

derinthescarletpescatarian

"There's even one particularly cringe-inducing sentence where an owl sits on Harry's lap, a glaring continuity error in light of the epilogue where he has children."

This is the funniest thing anyone has ever said about Harry Potter

autisticexpression

Also, no the fuck Hedwig did not sleep with her head tucked under her wing. Is she a chicken??? Has JKR ever seen an owl???????

derinthescarletpescatarian

New headcanon they're all just chickens and none of the wizards know what an owl is

verdanceeternal

There's a slight problem with that headcanon, in that I'm fairly certain some regular newspaper or other source of news picks up on the fact that there's owls everywhere in the daytime in the very first chapter because all the wizards forgot to be subtle. This may be incorrect, as it's been a while since I read the books, but I'm solidly 86% sure. So yeah, fucking stupid.

derinthescarletpescatarian

Turns out that's unrelated, the owls were just also upset at that time due to some environmental thing and the wizards, thinking they were chickens, ignored them.

the-witchhunter

This implies anytime they ate chicken it was actually owl

derinthescarletpescatarian

I stand by by theory

wordmage-girl
wordmage-girl

I don't believe Julia Quinn has even the slightest grasp on what a decent man is and what women actually want

wordmage-girl

Julia Quinn hero: I’m so fucking hard I need to get my dick wet right now. she’s in control of my balls and I hate her

Julia Quinn heroine: wow… I can’t believe he didn’t rape me when I told him I didn’t want to have sex

consent is not making someone feel guilty for your hard on ms quinn